


The Calling

by Tallulah_Rasa



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Cliche, Gen, Humor, Season/Series 06, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 22:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2245086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallulah_Rasa/pseuds/Tallulah_Rasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The SGC's best minds take on the challenge of contacting the ascended member of SG-1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Calling

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2003. Special thanks to V. for the inspiration and the techno-babble.

"We need Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said.

"I agree," General Hammond said, turning slowly to take in the faces ranged around the conference table. "Dr. Jackson is the only one who knows the language and customs of these tribes. He's the only one with a good change of getting SG-12 out of the mess they're in on P2X45R9." He sighed, cast a quick glance at Jack O'Neill, and reluctantly continued.  "Unfortunately, Dr. Jackson is..."

"Ascended," Teal'c said helpfully as the general's voice trailed off, the proverbial Jaffa-who-would-go-where-generals-feared-to-tread.

"Not exactly a phone call away," Hammond agreed unhappily.

"Can you hear me now?" Jack blurted, smirking, until three steely glances turned his way. He looked down and went back to drumming his fingers on the situation report strewn across the conference room table.

"Time grows short," Teal'c said. "We have been unable to render any material assistance to SG-12. We must have Daniel Jackson's help. If there were a way to communicate with the Ascended--"

"Daniel!" Jack broke in with a yell so loud even the techs in the Gate room could hear him. "Get your butt over here!"

Carter sighed, loudly, as Hammond took a breath and said, with extreme patience, "Colonel, please."

"What?" Jack said, aggrieved. He leaned back in his chair, staring first at his 2IC and then at his CO. "It always worked before."

"I have an idea," Carter said tentatively, as though Jack hadn't spoken, and sure enough, everyone turned toward her and stopped looking at him.

"It _did_ ," Jack insisted under his breath.

"The Ascended are energy, right?" Carter asked. "So a directed energy pulse of the right type..."

"To the right place," Teal'c chimed in. "Kheb would seem ideal."

"...could get the attention of the Ascended," Carter said, unable to contain her glee over having wrestled another technical problem into submission. She turned toward Hammond. "It could work, Sir. Teal'c's right, Kheb seems to be a place that draws the Ascended. If we send an energy pulse there through the gate, it will be clear it's coming from us. And if we configure it so that Daniel understands what we--yes! That's it! If I rig it so the inverting-core acceptor deflects the complex chronotron-feedback, and try to provoke a coil-composition reflex and several quantum biosphere resonances, that ought to dampen the polarizing maintenance-filament formulas. Then I can set in motion six homeostasis global-attractors from the constant chemical cybernetic-induction elliptical-beam. You can see where I'm going with this--"

"Indeed, Major Carter," Teal'c said, with an admiring bow of the head.

"Oh, sure, yeah, youbetcha," Jack added, looking up from the tic-tac-toe game he'd been playing with himself.

"Major...?" Hammond asked.

"Well, Sir," Carter began, taking up the flow again like it was a recently returned lover.

"Daniel knows how long I've been working on a way to dislodge a krypton placebo-molecule from the kinetic synthesis-accelerator. So the electromagnetic fiber-feedback, aligned with the quadrant energy matrix, should let him know that the pulse is a message to him from us.  And as you must have deduced by now, we can redirect the xanthous laser alignments authorization breach so that there's no danger to the base, or anyone on Kheb. And the antimatter breakthrough in the enhanced chaotic krell-dechyon diodes would be phenomenal, Sir.  Why, it would--"

"Couldn't we just call Daniel up with a Ouija board?" Jack asked, tapping his pencil again.

Three high-beam glares turned his way.

"What?" he demanded.

Hammond took yet another in a long series of deep breaths. "Major, could this work?"

"It's our best shot, Sir," Carter said. "It will take me a while, but with your permission..."

"You have a go, Major. Remember, time is of the essence. We need to get help to our team on P2X45R9 by 0800 hours tomorrow, so we'll need everyone on base to contribute their best. Teal'c, you assist Major Carter. Tell Dr. Fraiser and Sgt. Siler to drop whatever they're working on and put themselves at your disposal. Colonel O'Neill, you...you..."

"I'll brew the coffee, Sir," Jack said, standing up and stretching his cramped legs. "I know just how Daniel likes it."

* * *

Ten hours after the meeting, a large, unwieldy machine was rolled into the Gate room. The coordinates for Kheb clicked neatly into place,  the event horizon shot out and then settled into a gently undulating lake, and a burst of energy was shot through the circle to seek the Ascended, and call a prodigal one to the SGC. "E.T. phone home," Jack whispered, but no one heard him, or at least no one admitted to it.

A few moments later, a very disheveled Daniel Jackson slowly materialized from a halo of glowing light on the Gate room floor. It was obvious that he hadn't been planning a trip; his sweater was stained with what looked like chocolate ice cream, his socks were mismatched, and his hair had clearly not seen a comb for several days.

All hands in the Gate room would have agreed, if asked, that he looked damned good.

"Hi, everybody," Daniel said, and then he turned to the machine so recently and lovingly created by Carter. "Wow. That's...what _is_ that? Sam, did you actually make something to dislodge a krypton placebo-molecule from the kinetic synthesis-accelerator?"

"Well, yeah," Sam beamed modestly.

"And you used it to communicate with the Ascended. That's, well, that's...Oma thought it was, um, amazingly creative."

"It worked!" Carter exulted.

"It seems to be overheating," Teal'c pointed out.

Carter and Hammond turned to the machine immediately. "Maybe I should fill Daniel in on the problem at hand," Jack suggested as Carter began flipping switches and Teal'c and the General murmured about security and faulty wiring. "I mean, the _other_ problem at hand."

"Go," Hammond said, waving a hand.

"I could stay," Daniel said. "If Sam wants to show me how the--"

"I've got fresh coffee in the conference room," Jack said. "I went out and got the beans from that little place downtown a couple of hours ago."

"Or," Daniel said, turning toward Jack with a smile, "I could hear about the machine later."

"We'll catch up with you in a few minutes," Carter called out, already abstracted, so Jack ushered Daniel out.

"So..." Daniel said as the two men made their way to the conference room. "Sam must have put a lot of hard work into that thing."

"Kryptonite Synthetic Ass-something," Jack said.

"Kinetic synthesis-accelerator," Daniel said patiently.

"What I said," Jack agreed. "Labor of love.  And besides, we needed you."

Daniel nodded. "Yeah, I heard."

Jack eyed him. "The machine isn't what got you here, is it?"

Daniel tried not to smile, but some things are beyond even the power of the Ascended. "Actually?  Nothing has the power of, 'Daniel!  Get your butt over here!' " he admitted. "The machine just put on a big light show, and gave Oma a headache. But don't tell Sam. I don't want her to feel...you know."

Jack nodded sagely. "I knew it!"

"Of course, the coffee helped," Daniel said as they settled at the conference table. "That's the hazelnut blend, right? I love that smell. I swear, I can tell you're making it from across the galaxy."

Jack just smiled and poured two mugs. He gave Daniel Carter's mug, the one that said, _Physicists do it with simple harmonic motion_ , and perched on the table. Saluting Daniel with his own mug, he said, "Well, it's good Sam built the krypto-synthtic ass thingy, anyway. I mean, someday we might need you, and I could have laryngitis." 

Daniel sniffed appreciatively at his coffee as the clatter in the outer hallway announced the imminent arrival of a Major, a General, and a Jaffa warrior. "Jack, I expected more from you," he whispered, leaning in close. "That's why I gave you the Ouija Board."

Jack grinned. "Well for crying out loud, Daniel, I know that.  But Carter--well, she likes the technical solutions, you know?"

Daniel bit his lip, and nodded. "By the way," he said, as the door opened and the General stepped in. "The _Can you hear me now?_ thing?"

"Ye-ah?"

"Oma thought it was pretty funny."

 

END

 


End file.
